


72 Hours

by chai_and_coffee



Series: 365 Days [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: :)), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage AU, Bi Shiro, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Invasions of Privacy, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Murder, Stalking, klance, shallura - Freeform, shiroxallura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15409101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chai_and_coffee/pseuds/chai_and_coffee
Summary: The Allura Shirogane case was once a missing person case. Now, it's a sinister tale of love gone wrong, ex-lovers with a vengeance, and a desperate husband trying to make things work.In a desperate attempt to find his wife, Takashi Shirogane is met with the realization that there are bigger things at work. He finds himself cornered, unable to trust anyone, and with every second that slips by, his wife slips farther and farther away from him.The clock is ticking.72 Hours.Will you find Allura?~Arranged Marriage AU! Sequel to 88 Minutes! (I suggest you read that one first.)





	1. lost, lost, lost

_Don’t despair, dear husband._

 

Allura!

 

He shot up, his eyes widening. “All—“ He called out, but the sound was muffled by the business of the coffeeshop. He saw the door close, and pushed frantically past the table and the chairs to catch up to her. So close, she was so close, he needed to get her out of here, it wasn’t safe. It wasn’t safe for her.

 

He could hear Keith calling out his name behind him, but there wasn’t time, there wasn’t enough time! 

 

“Allura!” He called out desperately, bursting through the door, the violent jangle of the bells punctuating his action. He stepped out onto the sidewalk, his breathing heavy as if he had sprinted a mile. 

 

No one was there. There was no tell-tale sign of her silvery hair. 

 

“You were here. I know it. I know it.” Shiro whispered as he reached up and touched his shoulder, the one she squeezed. If he concentrated, he could feel her hand covering his. 

 

“Shiro! What happened?” Keith and Lance burst out of the coffee shop.

 

Looking back in hindsidght, Shiro supposed that he looked crazy, looking blankly out onto the road, his hand gripping his shoulder.But at the moment, that was the least of his worries.

 

“Allura. She was here. She was here, she was here and she—she—she gave me that napkin—and—“ Shiro stumbled over his words, wondering when he had gotten so tonguetied. 

 

So close. He had been so close, and he regretted not looking up immediately. He could have grabbed her hand, pulled her in for a hug and whispered apologies and promises to keep her safe. 

 

But she was alive. She was okay. That would have to do for right now. 

 

“What napkin?” Keith asked, confused. Shiro looked down and didn’t see the papery fabric in his hands. He must have left it on the coffee table. He ran back inside, and looked at the surface of the table. Nothing. Nothing. There was no napkin. Where was it?! Immediately, he got on his hands and knees and looked around on the floor, looking for the napkin. Where was it? No, no, no. He couldn’t have lost it.

 

“Shiro, buddy.” Lance said, crouching down. “I don’t think that she was here, bud. I don’t think that she was here. I think she’s hiding. Maybe you fell asleep?” 

 

Knowing full well that he didn’t sleep, that he didn’t imagine her, he nodded. “Yeah. Sorry. Crazy dream.” He lied, and saw the tension dissipate from Lance’s brow. 

 

Lance placed a hand on Shiro’s shoulder, where his wife had just had her hand, and Shiro fought the urge to jolt back and curse Lance for touching him. 

 

“I know it’s hard. We all want her back. But you need to take care of yourself too, okay?” Lance asked, in that soft, sympathetic voice that was associated with pity. 

 

“Okay.” Was all Shiro could imagine before pushing himself up, off the floor. He dusted himself off, and was alerted by a voice.

 

“Pidge and Hunk are back with the photos. Coran is done with his call. We should find a place to stay for the night, a place to lie low.” Keith said, his composed face looking out the window. 

 

“Yeah. We should. Let’s go, guys.” Shiro stepped forward, but a gentle hand from his brother stopped him in his tracks.

 

Keith looked at him, his eyes calm. “You sure you’re okay, Shiro?” He asked. “You sure you can drive?”

 

Shiro nodded, a little bit too quickly for Keith, who narrowed his eyes, but let it go. “Yeah, Keith. I’m okay. Just a bit tired. I’ll be fine to drive.” He said, nodding. 

 

But as the group left the coffeeshop, Shiro couldn’t help but cast a desperate glance at the table. No such luck. There was no note, there was nothing left. 

 

Huh. Maybe he was dreaming about it after all. Maybe it was…a hallucination of sorts? Maybe. Maybe he was really tired, just like the others said. 

 

A gust of dust swept towards the group as they walked to the car, and the group spiraled into coughing fits. As Shiro lifted the fabric of his shirt to wipe his streaming eyes, he smelt the faintest hint of strawberry.

 

He thought about it. Constantly. The group took note of his expression, and didn’t say a single word the entire time home. They let him drive in silence, his eyes and body fixated on the road before him, yet his mind preoccupied with thoughts of his wife. 

 

“Shiro, turn here. We’ll stay in this hotel. You lot stay here, I’ll go get us rooms.” Coran directed, and despite his distracted state of mind, Shiro followed the orders. He parked, waiting for the orange-haired man to return. In his rearview mirror, he could see Pidge snoring, Hunk’s eyes drooping, and Lance curled against Keith. They really were tired, both emotionally and physically. 

 

But tomorrow would be another day. They’d have tonight to rest, to recuperate. To heal their minds from the havoc the pictures had wreaked on them.

 

Shiro wasn’t doing too well, knowing that his wife’s pictures were a few feet away from him, tucked within the protective depths of a manilla folder. He wasn’t doing too well knowing that a dazzling smile picture, or a sobbing picture of his Allura was resting on Pidge’s lap, too close for him to reach across and grab.

 

Luckily for him. Coran returned, and soon the sleepy bunch were stumbling into the lobby and into the elevators. No one talked, not even when they reached their rooms, or when they noted that Pidge went into Hunk’s room instead of hers, or that Keith and Lance had gotten one of the single bedroom rooms. They didn’t talk, simply because they were too tired to.

 

Shiro unlocked his door, stepped inside and sighed. He kicked off his shoes, not bothering with courtesy, and locked the door behind him as his feet sank into the carpet. He flung off his shirt, and as he reached into his pocket to empty them, he pulled out a particular napkin with a particular scrawl. 


	2. last ones left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last ones left

_Don’t despair, dear husband._

 

She had been there. She had been there, she had said that to him, and he wasn’t going crazy. He wasn’t going crazy.

 

He wanted to lunge into Keith and Lance’s room, showing them the napkin proudly. He shook that idea from his mind. They would be sleeping anyways. The smile that had come to Shiro’s lips when he found the napkin faded as he thought about how Lance and Keith had treated him when he was looking for Allura. They…didn’t believe him.

 

As soon as the thought had come, the mistrust bubbled up in him. No, he wouldn’t tell anyone. He was yet to know about them, yet to understand why they were here. No, he didn’t trust anyone. As far as he knew, they could be working for Lotor or something along those lines.

 

He felt bad for not trusting his brother, but the bitterness of Keith not believing in Shiro quickly smothered that information.

 

Shiro tucked the napkin into his jacket pocket, close and safe, pressed against his chest. He wouldn’t tell anyone else about it. He couldn’t. He didn’t trust them.

 

He tried to lie back on his bed and forget about everything, and despite the fatigue that weighed heavily on his eyelids, he simply couldn’t. There was too much going on in his mind for him to focus, and it drove him mad.

 

No. He needed answers. He needed to know about Allura. There was nothing else to do.

 

He found himself getting up, slowly, steadily. It was a miracle that he managed to pull open his door and trudge down the hallway to Coran’s room, considering how tired Shiro was.

 

Shiro had barely knocked when Coran swung the door open. One look at the man’s eyes told Shiro that Allura’s uncle was experiencing the same thing he was.

 

“I take it you’re here for answers?” Coran asked, tilting his head before stepping aside to Shiro pass.

 

“I assume you’re letting me in if you get some answers of your own?” Shiro asked, walking inside. He made his way to the lone chair that decorated the hotel room’s corner. He sank down, and fought the impending darkness that clouded the corners of his eyes. There was no time for sleep when information about his wife awaited.

 

“Indeed I am.” Coran said, and sank down onto the bed, oddly formal for such an informal gathering at this hour. “So tell me, what would you like to know?”

 

“Everything.” Was Shiro’s immediate response. “Tell me everything.”

 

Coran sighed, and crossed his arms. He leaned back, his eyes focused on something as he gathered his thoughts. “That would take far too long, Shiro. Just ask a few questions.”

 

Shiro wanted to point out that he didn’t even know his wife well enough to ask questions, but he figured that the man would sooner or later find out about Shiro’s mistreatment of his niece, and he didn’t want it to be now.

 

“What is she like? When she’s normal, I mean.” Shiro asked.

 

“She’s the smartest person you’ll ever meet. She doesn’t look like a genius, but she is. She’s…a firecracker.  Witty. Always has a comeback. She’s inquisitive, curious. When she wants to find out about something, she gets this glint in her eye that makes anyone else stop in their tracks. She’s shy when she’s in love, flustered and giggling. She’s a hopeless romantic. She has a temper, but she’s a good person. She tries to do the best she can. When she’s mad…the scariest part of her is not when she’s yelling, but when she’s calm in that cold way.” Coran said.

 

Shiro leaned forward, soaking up all the information as if he was starved for it. “Where does she go? When she gets a blank look in her eye and doesn’t move…or do anything?” He asked.

 

Coran’s expression grew darker. “Her mind. Her mind is the safest place for her. So she escapes to a corner of her mind, where she can escape whatever’s scaring her for the time being.”

 

The next three hours were spent just like so, with Shiro asking and asking and Coran answering. Shiro finally was able to build a full profile of his wife, and suddenly, she didn’t seem as much of a stranger as before.

 

“So, what did you want to ask me?” Shiro asked.

 

“I already know about what transpired between you and her in the early days of your marriage.” Coran fixed Shiro a disappointed look, which made him duck his head in shame. He knew. He knew about how horrible he had been to her.

 

“But, along those lines, I need you to promise something to me, Shiro.” Coran said, and Shiro could tell by the way that Coran’s voice grew tighter, that the man was not pleased with what he was going to say.

 

“Promise what?” Shiro asked warily.

 

“I need you to promise, that if anything happens to me, even if we find her and that you two get divorced and everything else that would make you happy, I need you to promise me that you’ll keep an eye on Allura. No matter what. Even when Lotor’s gone, when you two are no longer talking. I need you to keep an eye on her. She’s got no one else left.”

 

Shiro nodded to the question, and promised. That effectively signaled the end of the conversation, and Shiro trudged back to the relative safety of his hotel room.

 

Why had Coran assumed that they would be divorced, and wouldn’t talk? That wouldn’t happen..right? Not that he cared. He didn’t care. At all.

 

But he was all that was left for her. After Coran, he was the last one for her. Pidge, Hunk and the others didn’t count, considering the fact that she had disappeared for over a year and only now they had come to look for her.

 

But he was the last one left for Allura Shirogane, and in some odd way, she was the last one left for him as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments inspire me to update!
> 
> drop a kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	3. california dreamin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> california dreamin' on such a winter's day  
> nah brah it's hot as fuck here

He yawned as he slid his key card into the slot and the green beep sounded, allowing him to push open the door to his hotel room.

 

Hotel rooms were always comfy. They had a feel to them, the bed, the drawers. Sure, it wasn’t a homely feel, but it had been a while since Shiro had experienced that kind of homely fuzzies. His apartment was like a hospital. Cool, clean, sterile. Devoid of affection, devoid of anything that might classify it as a home.

 

As he thought back on it, he felt a pang of regret. No wonder Allura left. It wasn’t an apartment. It looked like a prison. And dear god, he had made her sleep on the couch, never letting her unpack or…anything. She had been a prisoner as much as he had been, only her stay was less than welcome.

 

He’d do better. The next time he saw her, he’d do better. He’d ask her what color she wanted to paint the walls, or what paintings she wanted to put up. He’d take a day off and do it for her.

 

Oh, who was he kidding? She’d never want that. She’d never want to come home with him. She didn’t even know who he was, yet he was still holding out hope that she was going to come home with him and everything was going to be okay. He still had that false positivity, and the only thing that was going to do was ultimately let him down in the end.

 

“Stop.” He growled at himself, as if that would make his brain stop spitting out unpleasant truths. Sure, they were truths, but that didn’t mean he had to hear it.

 

Somehow, he managed to get his brain quiet enough for him to close his eyes, snuggle under the warm throw, and drift asleep.

 

When he opened his eyes, Allura was right there. She was there. She was curled up, next to him, her head on his chest, her arms wound tightly around him. She looked up and smiled. “Good morning, handsome.” She whispered, leaning up to press a lazy kiss to his jaw. His eyes closed in contentment, and he drew lazy circles on her bare shoulder.

 

“Sleep well?” He heard himself ask.

 

Her response was a mischievous smile and a nod. “Incredibly well. Of course, it’s all thanks to someone tiring me out yesterday night.” She giggled, and he was suddenly aware of their naked bodies twined and tangled together.

 

“Well, it seems to me, you liked it.” He heard himself say, as he leaned down to nip at a dark blemish dotting her neck. He heard her breath hitch, her hold tighten, and her eyes flash in warning.

 

“Now, now, Mister Shirogane. Don’t go starting things that you can’t finish..” She said, looking up at him. Her amused smile mirrored his lazy smile, and they both knew very well that nothing was going to happen in the morning.

 

“Ah, I’ll finish what I started during breakfast. Maybe strawberries and cream.” He winked at her, and grinned at the way her skin flushed under his suggestive remark.

 

God, she looked like a goddess. Her silvery hair spilled over everywhere, the sun hitting her at just the right angle, coating her in a warm glow. She practically radiated, and commanded every bit of his attention. She was well worthy of the nickname ‘Princess’ he had given her.

 

“Hasn’t anyone told you that it’s not polite for you to stare?” She asked, but there was no real bite to the playful remark. Her fingertip grazed the scar on his nose, and he allowed her to.

 

He laughed, gently taking her hand away from his nose and pressed a soft kiss to the skin of her left hand ring finger, right above where his ring decorated the digit. “I think this one gives me rights to stare.” He said, admiring the way the stone caught the sunlight.

 

She slapped his chest with her free hand, rolling her eyes. “You Neanderthal.” She teased, rolling her eyes. She tried to push herself up off of him, but he pulled her back to his chest, grumbling.

 

“Stay.” He asked, more or less of a question. Her only answer to his request was a kiss, one that stirred up warm feelings and made him understand why he married her. Only she could make him like this. Only she could silence him with a simple press of her lips against his.

 

Luckily for her, the kiss captured his attention, so she was free to push herself up off of him and slide out of bed.

 

His eyes raked down her figure, and she shot him a sleepy smile over her shoulder. She bit her lip in the way that drove him crazy. “I’m in the shower if you want to join me, Tak.” She winked, before sauntering into the shower.

 

He heard the knob turn, and heard the spray of water cascading down. He leaned back, alive and lazy with the glow of a good morning, and blinked.

 

Suddenly, the sound of the running shower were gone, and the scenery of the sunny bedroom melted away, leaving him in the middle of a dark hotel room.

 

It had been a dream. Of course, it had been a dream. Why else would she have been so warm, so inviting? Why else would he have been so happy, without the burdens that plagued him today?

 

He found himself craving the feeling of the dream, feeling hollow and empty once more. He reached up, his fingers pressing against his lips, but the warmth of dream-Allura’s lips on his was now only a memory.

 

God. What had gotten into him? Before this, before anything, his dreams were different. Hell, he’d be lucky if he dreamt at all. But what had gotten into him?

 

He shook his head, groaning. Maybe the information that Coran gave him last night was playing around with his mind.

 

He slid out of his bed, and padded to the bathroom. The shower felt strangely empty, and it might have been because Allura wasn’t in there with him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments inspire me to update!
> 
> leave a kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	4. hallucinations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hallucinations

Shiro groaned, stepping out of the shower. The warm water had washed away the remnants of his dream, and he felt better. Fresher. The dream still lingered, in the edges of his vision. He shook his head, tiny water droplets spraying around him as he reached and tied a towel around his waist. He dried off, quickly, and fully stepped out of the bathroom, heading to change. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes widening.

 

Allura was sitting there, swinging her legs happily, her eyes on him. She sat on the bed like she had just been curled up in it with him, like she owned the place. She wore a soft smile, and wore the same clothes that he had last seen her in.

 

“Are you real?” Was the first thing he asked. He rubbed his eyes, as if that would take away this dream Allura.

 

She laughed, a sound that sounded like a delighted peal of bells, soft and sweet that made him cock his ear to her in wonder. He could listen to that sound forever, light and bubbly and full of sweetness. 

 

“No, dear. I’m not. I’m simply from your head.” She said sweetly, looking at him like he was the best thing in the world. 

 

“From my head? Like…like a dream?” He asked, tilting his head, confused. 

 

The peal of bells sounded again, and Shiro was less enraptured by the sound than he was with the woman sprawled out on the bed in front of him. “No, Shiro. I’m…a hallucination of sorts. I’m not really her. I’m just…what you wish she was, what you think she would be like.” This Allura answered, shooting him a kind and patient smile.

 

Despite the fact that he very well knew that she wasn’t real, the smile made his toes curl with pleasure and he couldn’t help shooting a small smile back at her. 

 

He took a moment to look at her, to study her. She looked exactly like how she had been before her disappearance, other than her warm smile, shining eyes, and no presence of dark circles under her eyes. 

 

“I’m not her, like I said. I’m how you wish she would be. You didn’t like her tired. I’m never tired.” She said, and god, even the accent was spot on. How had his brain remembered all of this? From the way her eyes sparkled to how she leaned, everything reminded him painfully of her. 

 

“How did you know—?” Shiro began, but was cut off. “What you were thinking?” Allura finished. “That’s easy. I’m from your head, remember?” 

 

Shiro sighed. If he was seeing a hallucination, that would mean that he was going crazy. That would mean that something was wrong, or he was asleep and needed to wake up. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t be here. She simply couldn’t, because every time he looked at her and realized that she wasn’t here, made his heart twinge in a way. 

 

“Why are you here?” He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose, right where his scar was as if that would regulate what he was seeing. “Are you here to drive me insane?” He questioned. 

 

She laughed again, and stood up. She made her way over to him, the delicate folds of her pink dress swaying back and forth. She shook her head, her eyes growing softer as she stood close to him. 

 

“I’m here to keep you sane.” She said, her hand reaching up to gently cup his cheek. Oh, she felt so, so real, and he cursed his brain for being such an organ to make him feel as if his wife was stroking her thumb across his cheek. 

 

“Where are you?” He asked, his arms wrapping around her frame. He buried his face in her hair, clutching her close. “Why have you left me? Where are you? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry..” He whispered to her. 

 

“I’m hidden. I’m hidden somewhere, and I can’t remember. I can’t find you. I’m trapped in my mind. I’m trying to stay safe, away from him. I think he found me. I think he knows where I am. Come quickly, please, Shiro, please.” She whispered, her arms tightening around him. 

 

He nodded, clutching at her as if she would disappear. The way this was going, he wouldn’t be surprised if his brain played a cruel joke on him and tore her away. “I’m coming, Allura. I’ll find you, I promise.” He whispered to this hallucination, wondering if the real Allura would still hold out hope for him. 

 

He pulled away and looked at her, his hands grasping her face. “So…what happens? Are you here…forever?” He asked.

 

She shook her head, her eyes misting over and god, it looked real, so real. “I’m here until you become stable. Only you can see me, Shiro. Only you can hear me, touch me. I’m with you, always.”

 

He pressed his forehead against hers, feeling the tears rush down his face. “You’ll be with me?”

 

“Always.” She whispered, and suddenly he was left clutching air, nothing but the hot tears to remind him what had happened. 

 

“God, fucking dammit.” He cursed himself, furiously wiping away his tears. 

 

“Why the foul mouth?” Came the soft accented voice behind him. 

 

He turned, and the hallucination was there, again. “I said I wasn’t leaving. There was no reason to cry.” She said, fondly. 

 

He sighed, and shook his head. “I’m going to go crazy. This is it for me. I’m going to be driven insane, and I’m never going to see you again. This is too much. I can’t do this. I can’t, Allura. I’m sorry, but I can’t. I don’t know where you are, I don’t know what to do next, and I just….I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” 

 

She smiled at him, and shook her head. “Don’t despair, dear husband. There is always a way. Now, there’s someone at the door. You heard the knock, but it possibly didn’t register it. Go answer, darling.” She whispered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments mean updates!
> 
> hmu on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	5. connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roarin' 20s by panic is the best song of their new album dont @ me  
> oh and some connections be happenin in this chapter

Shiro went to the door, swinging it open. The group of kids and Coran waltzed in, without him even asking them in. He shut the door mutely behind them, looking as they made themselves comfortable on the bed and on the floor. Allura occupied the chair, and looked at the group with fondness in her eyes, her hands neatly clasped in her lap. She reminded him of the way she sat quietly, just staring when her mind drifted. 

 

“Shiro?” Lance’s voice shook him from the hallucination, and he was painfully aware that it looked like he was staring at an empty chair.

 

“Sorry, just a bit tired. So, what’s up?” He asked, tilting his head. 

 

Pidge leaned forward, her lenses tilting and catching a beam of light as she did so. “We’ve got a plan, Shiro. That’s what we got. We need to follow through with this if we want to see Allura.” 

 

Shiro glanced at the chair which was occupied by hallucination Allura to see what she thought of this. But then again, she was a projection of his view of what his wife was like. It was no surprise when Allura’s face contained a proud look as she gazed at the girl.

 

“I’m sorry, Shiro, is this a bad time for you? We can always come back when your attention isn’t occupied by an empty chair.” Pidge’s irritated voice cut through, and he heard his Allura giggle at the girl’s sass. He turned back to face her and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. My mind’s elsewhere. So, what do you have for me?” He asked. Allura got up and gestured to the seat that she had just vacated. He crossed the room and sank down onto the chair, a soft sigh slipping out of his mouth.

 

Allura, or Hallucination Allura (Hallura? Haluci-Allura?) sank down onto his lap, her warm weighta welcome presence. He felt comforted by the warmth of her back pressed against his chest, her head tucked under his chin. In his mind, his hands rested on her thighs (gentlemanly, of course), but to the others, it looked like he was holding his hands oddly above his thighs. No one seemed to remark on this, of course, everyone dismissing it as a stretch that Shiro was doing.

 

“Okay.” Pidge shot his hovering hands an odd look, and he quickly set his hands on the armrests. There, but now Allura pouted at him. Damn it. This woman, (or rather his view of her) was going to be the death of him. 

 

“So, Lance and Keith are going to go talk to the police. They’re going to show them the evidence, get that restraining order, and update the police officers on everything that we’ve learned. Coran, it might be a good idea for you to go with them, considering the fact that you’re not in the system as related to her. Any information that you can give about her could help out search. I know the police aren’t that effective, but honestly, any help we can get right now would be definitely appreciated.” Pidge instructed. 

 

Keith and Lance stood up, taking the manilla folder from the girl’s outstretched hand. “Alright, Pidge.” Keith said simply, tucking the folder under his boyfriend’s arm. Coran stood up as well, nodding. “That’s a good idea, Katie. I’ll go with them, see what I can do.” 

 

The two boys and man walked out of the room after saying their goodbyes. Shiro turned to Pidge and Hunk, still remaining in the room with him. “What are we going to do?” He asked her curiously. 

 

“We’re going to do some research on Lotor. I know that he’s our only target, but we need to know more about him. See what dirt we can dig up on him. Isn’t there a saying about knowing your enemy?” Pidge asked.

 

Hunk shrugged. “Even if there is, it’s a good idea. And you never know. Lotor might not be the only person that’s involved. There could be something else that we haven’t seen yet.” He suggested with a raise of his hands, and Pidge nodded. The young girl tapped frantically on her laptop. 

 

Shiro raised a brow. “Should I be concerned?” He asked, gesturing to the laptop. Pidge grinned. “On a normal day, m yes. But relax. The FBI won’t even know that I accessed their records.”

 

Hunk groaned. “I hate it when you hack. It never leads to anything good.”

 

The two went back and forth, exchanging light jabs and remarks, and throughout the entire time, Pidge was typing furiously. Shiro shared an amused glance with his Allura, who grinned and rolled her eyes, and pressed her lips to his forehead.

 

“Okay so I was able to get Lotor’s file. Apparently he’s in the system for a few minor crimes, nothing too major. Had a father, who is now dead. No siblings or mother, and hmm… that’s odd.” Pidge said.

 

“What? Did the FBI find you?” Hunk asked nervously, fidgeting back and forth. It was clear that the young man had clearly been around with Pidge long enough to know when something was wrong.

 

“No, not that. It says, under known people having contact with him, is Alfor…and Shiro.” Pidge said. 

 

Shiro lunged upwards, making the hallucination squeak and tumble to the ground. She glared at him from where she lay as a crumpled heap on the floor, but he’d make it up to her later.

 

“What?! How can I have contact with someone I don’t even know?” He asked, titling his head. 

 

“I don’t know, Shiro, but apparently, it’s confirmed. Somewhere, somehow, you have had contact with him. And for a prolonged period of time, actually. You’re one of the top names.” Katie said reasonably. 

 

Shiro pressed his fingers to his forehead. Seemed like he had been doing that a lot lately. 

 

“I don’t remember him.” He said, a bit desperately. What if he had the information all this time?

 

Hunk raised his hand and commanded Shiro to take a breath.

 

“Slow down, close your eyes. Clear your mind, before beginning to think.” He said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments inspire updates!
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	6. lotor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lotor

This wasn’t working. Was he frustrated? A tad, yes. It was hard not to be frustrated. He did what Hunk asked, closed his eyes, tried to think, but nothing was happening. Nothing was happening. He could still hear the click of Pidge’s keyboard keys, he could still hear the creak of the chair as Hunk shifted his weight.

 

“This isn’t working.” Shiro grumped, about to open his eyes. “Wait! Don’t open your eyes. Maybe you just need some time alone. Just some time for yourself, in absolute quiet.” Hunk suggested, and Shiro obeyed, not opening his eyes. Good. After they were gone, he could take a long nap, and pretend like he didn’t know anything. Yeah. That would work. 

 

He heard the creak of the door and heard the two kids leave. He felt lips press against his cheek, and a warmth against his side. 

 

“Forget me already?” Allura asked teasingly, and he could feel her warm exhale on his cheek. He curled an arm around her waist and shook his head. “No.” He said shortly, not opening his eyes. “Do I know Lotor?”

 

“What would make you think that I know?” Allura asked, the warmth of her head resting on his chest. 

 

“You’re from my head. So tell me, are their any suppressed memories that I should be aware of?” He asked, and felt the silky threads of her hair slip through his fingers.

 

“Mmm, you do. You do, but you yourself are suppressing the memories. You know what happened. You know who he is. You just don’t want to.” Allura said. 

 

Irritated with that response, Shiro closed his eyes, hopefully to sleep her comments away. He didn’t know Lotor. He didn’t know him at all…right?

 

_A flapping canopy tent was the first thing he saw. Flapping, back and forth, in that same rhythm that he knew so well. He sat up, his eyes surveying around him, and sighed. He was back in the military, hearing the drone of planes land and take off. He groaned as he got up off the cot, his back crackling as he stretched._

 

_“Mornin, Shirogane.” A silky voice came from beside him. He turned and grinned at his comrade, Major Lotor. Although there had been a bit of an issue at first, the two boys had quickly learned to get over themselves and settle their differences._

 

_“Morning, Lotor. Where you off to?” Shiro asked with interest, wondering where his friend would be flying today._

 

_“Going to fly over the islands. Not all of us can be the commander’s favorite, you know.” Lotor said, and although it probably had been meant in a playful manner, Shiro couldn’t help the prickle of uncomfortableness at the back of his neck._

 

_Because of the close relationship Shiro had with Alfor, the other pilots were often jealous and made remarks that Alfor favored Shiro, giving him the best assignments. Shiro was sure this wasn’t true, but no matter how hard he tried to convince the others, they wouldn’t believe him._

 

_“Ah, nothin like that. I’m flying over the islands too, today. I think I’m the shift after yours.” Shiro had managed to say before Lotor was called._

 

_The scene changed and suddenly he was strapped to a table, trembling. There was a searing pain in his right arm, and when he looked down, there was no arm. There was no arm there. Just a severed stump, a white bandage wrapped around the stump and stained with blood._

 

_Ah. He remembered now. He remembered the Major, driven to ambition and honor…and eventually, betrayal. Of course, no one had known that it was him. No one knew that Lotor had been the spy for the other side. They had just assumed that after Lotor hadn’t come back, he was gone. Missing in action._

 

_No one knew about the fact that Lotor had been the one standing over him, mocking him as he cried out for someone to spare him the pain. No one knew about the fact that Lotor had been the one to take away his arm, the one to smirk down at him and tease him relentlessly._

 

_No, no one knew that Lotor had talked about seeing a beautiful woman back home, and wanting to go home to see her. No one knew that Lotor was the traitor._

 

_No one knew that Lotor was still alive._

 

_But apparently, Shiro did._

 

His eyes shot awake and he gasped, as if he had just awoken from a nightmare. He figured, internally, that it was a nightmare of sorts. Dear lord. He wished he could jump off a cliff. 

 

“I know him. I know, I know, I know—“ He said as he slid out of bed. He ran out the door to the other door across from him, his eyes wide. Pidge and Hunk looked at him, and the story came spilling out, about how Lotor and him were friends, how they were stationed under Alfor, how—how Lotor had betrayed him—how he took his arm-everything. 

 

Pidge and Hunk looked shocked, but were grateful for the extra information he had gathered for them. They now had more things to look for, they said, and assured him that they would make best use of the information he provided. 

 

He trudged back to his room, hearing the click of the door behind him. Somehow, the confession only had made him feel heavier, as if it had only deepened his load. His eyes widened when he realized that the loving hallucination of his wife was nowhere to be found. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments mean updates!
> 
> drop a kudos!
> 
> tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	7. smoke + mirrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because who isn't an imagine dragons fan

“Allura?” He called out into the room. 

 

“I’m right here.” She was there, on the bed, where he had left her, and everything was normal except for the fact that she hadn’t been there a minute ago. 

 

“You weren’t before.” He said flatly, climbing into bed with her. He stretched out on his right side, his chest facing her, and she did the same, only stretched out on her left. She looked at him, her eyes wearing the same proud expression that she had looked at Pidge with. He knew definitely that this wasn’t his emotions, because he was feeling anything but proud of himself at that moment. 

 

“I wasn’t before.” She admitted, but met his gaze steadily. The hallucination knew how much he valued eye contact, especially hers, and wouldn’t make the mistake of breaking her gaze away from his. 

 

“Why?” He asked, though in part, he felt like he already knew the answer. Hell, she was a part of him, a figment of his imagination. He had to know. 

 

“Because you’re becoming stable. You’re finally getting your head back in the game.” She laughed. “Isn’t that a Disney Channel reference? Some high school something?” 

 

He evaded the obvious attempt at a joke. Nice try. “So—what does this mean?” He asked, tilting his head. 

 

“It means that you don’t need me anymore.” Allura said quietly. 

 

He grabbed at her, feeling the warmth pulsate between his hands. “No. I need you. You can’t go. You keep me sane. You told me yourself. I can’t let you leave. You’re the only thing that’s good, that I can turn to..” He said desperately.

 

She laughed. “I’m you, Shiro. I’m you. I’m a piece of you. It’s okay.” She soothed, but the attempt was weak. He gave up the pretense of begging, of pleading, knowing that it was to no avail.

 

He gathered her into her arms, feeling the way her face buried into the crook of his neck. She glowed, a soft glow. Not one because of light or because of some internal holiness, but just… a soft glow. He didn’t know where, didn’t want to know where, didn’t want to know anything. He just wanted to hold her. 

 

“What…what should I do when I see her?” He asked his Allura. 

 

She hummed, a soft sound of thought, before speaking.“Maybe you should reintroduce yourself.”

 

“Hey, I’m Shiro. You already know me, I’m the said husband that came looking for you. God, I sound stupid.” Shiro groaned. 

 

She giggled, eliciting a chuckle from him. “Okay, maybe not like that, Shiro. But when you find her, you could give her a hug. Hug her tightly and apologize. Oh, make sure to apologize, okay? That’s like…an important part. But I’m sure she’ll forgive you.” 

 

“I miss her.” He whispered quietly. “I know that..I was terrible to her. I know that I was a bad husband, didn’t take the effort to get to know her or anything like that, but I miss her. I really do. She was….odd. But she woke me up from nightmares. She liked the gift I got her. Do you remember that? The diary I got her? The little pink one? She used to write in it all the time. There used to be splotches of blue and purple and green all over her hands. She loved the pens that I got her, but they always ended up on her hands after a session of writing. She’d hum as I washed her hands, giggling when the water splashed on her.” 

 

His remembrances took a more melancholy turn. “She liked to braid her hair. She liked to braid her hair, but at the end of her stay with me…her hands shook so much that she couldn’t braid anymore. I could have done it for her. I could have sat her down and quietly offered to do her hair. I don’t know much, but I could have done a simple braid. Something to keep her hair out of her face.” 

 

Allura listened quietly, not saying anything.

 

“I wonder if she thinks about me. If she misses me. I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I miss her. Because..even if I don’t love her, she was someone. She was someone to wake up with in the morning, she was someone to share breakfast with. She was someone to watch the news with. She was someone to tuck a blanket over when she was sleeping. But I never realized, that, never understood that. I let her sleep, crying for the first few nights. I was unfaithful within the first few days. I brought women home right in front of her, and why—even if I had no feelings for her, the least I could have done was be a decent human being.” He lamented. 

 

“Shiro. Stop.” Allura commanded, and her voice was so sharp that it made him think twice. His mouth snapped shut and he paid attention to what she had to say. 

 

“There’s no point in you whining over this, okay? There’s no point in you crying over how you could have treated her better. Did you make some mistakes? Yes. Everyone does. Did you make some big ones? Yes, you did. It’s okay. Now is not the time to complain about everything you could have done. Now is the time to find her, to find her and make things right. Apologize. Take her in your arms, and apologize for everything that you’ve ever done. Ask her to come home. Tell her that you’d like to try again, have one more shot at making it work. Tell her that you’ve changed, that you’ll be better. Because I have faith that she’ll listen. She’ll listen to you and make it work. But right now? You aren’t helping anyone by complaining. Close your eyes, Shiro. Close your eyes and think about your wife. Right now, you need to focus on finding her.” 

 

Shiro closed his eyes, and when he opened them, his hallucination was gone, nothing but the faint smell of strawberries to remind him of her presence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments mean updates!
> 
> leave a kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	8. overboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

He choked, a sob rising up in his throat. She was gone. She was gone, and in a twisted way, he wished his mental stability would wear away. He wished it would go, so he could live in the hallucination induced paradise of having his beloved wife close to him. 

 

He choked again, a funny sound. It was the cross between a strangle and a laugh, and he wondered if his mental stability was seriously splintering. He wouldn’t doubt it, he had been through some crazy shit. Losing his mind would not come as a surprise. 

 

He needed to get off this bed. The silk sheets seemed to be suffocating him. They were swatched around his body, keeping him close in a tight cocoon. He felt a slight sheen of sweat bead around his forehead, and sighed quietly. He needed to get out of here, but his muscles felt heavy, almost as if he was sinking in sand. He blinked and almost forgot to open his eyes again. The room seemed to sway, and he sighed loudly again. The sweat seemed to pool around him, and in a fluid motion, he was jerking off the sheets and sputtering on the floor.

 

He gasped and felt his forehead, felt the fire burning on his skin. It occurred to him that he hadn’t had anything to drink at all, and he stumbled towards the little mini-fridge, that he had originally thought of as simple decoration.

 

He yanked the door open and felt the cool air hit his face. After a while of soaking his face in the cool streams of air, he blinked and focused his eyes on the small little bottle lining the little holders. 

 

Ah. Yeah. He really needed alcohol at this moment. Really, really needed it. He hadn’t had some in a while, partly because of the fact that he had been so swept up in the search for Allura. When he had gotten a second of time for himself, it had been occupied with said wife that he had been searching for.

 

Nevertheless, the bottles of alcohol seems to be calling out to him. He reached out and grabbed a few in his hand, before staggering his way back to the bed. Yes, he knew that his time could be spent more productively, yes he knew that he should be helping the others to find his wife, but at the moment he really wanted to mourn.

 

Because even though that Allura had been a hallucination, she had been there. She had been there, and losing her felt like losing the real wife again. He felt the same amount of panic he had felt the first time, when he had searched the house endlessly only to find that any presence of her cheery personality had been cruelly ripped away from him. 

 

He unscrewed the top of one of the small bottles and raised the tip to his lips. He paused, his eyes fixating on the spot where one of the walls met the ceiling. He could feel the sting of the smell of the liquor burn through his nose, but he stared at that spot for a while before finally tilting the glass bottle, its contents draining down his throat. 

 

He coughed, albeit a bit violently, but was already reaching for another bottle. His addiction was back in full force, and he realized why he relied so much on liquor. Because it deadened his senses, made him feel numb. Not hollow, but numb. And he craved that feeling so much. 

 

By the time he finished all the bottles, they sat at his feet, clinking around in that tinkle of cacophony that reached his ears, but never registered. 

 

“Shiro?” Came a soft voice. He leaned up and saw Pidge peeking at him warily, her eyes immediately catching the abundance of alcohol around his feet. 

 

He felt shame rise in the form of bile, cursing himself for drinking. Fuck. He should have thought about the fact that there were young kids around, young kids that shouldn’t have been exposed to a bitter man drinking away his life’s sorrows. 

 

“Hey—“ He struggled to get up, to apologize, but the young woman was daintily picking her way through the sea of bottles, coming to wiggle up onto the bed next to him.

 

“What’re—“ He slurred the beginning of his question, but never got to finish as the young girl wrapped her arms around him.

 

“I know you’re sad. I miss her too.” Pidge said quietly. Shiro felt a paternal instinct that he never knew he had wash over him, and he pulled the young girl close. 

 

“I miss her. So much.” He confessed, but was interrupted by the door opening again. Several pairs of feet were heard on the carpet, one dragging, one light, one heavy. 

 

Lance, Keith, and Hunk all sank down on the bed, everyone wrapping their arms around the grown man in the center. They were all connected by a mysterious young woman with flowing white hair, but they were connected in a way that neither of them could explain.

 

Almost as if they were family.

 

“I hate you all.” Keith said fondly, and Lance laughed. “We love you too, Keith.” He snickered at his boyfriend, and their antics was enough to let Shiro crack a thin smile.

 

“So, what brought on this cuddle pile?” Hunk asked questioningly. “Not that I’m objecting, of course. I’m plenty happy to be here.” He snickered. 

 

No one answered, because no one wanted to admit that Shiro had gotten drunk and had gone overboard with his drinking. No one wanted to talk about the reality that with every second that ticked by, Allura slipped out of their hands. She could be captured or tortured or worse, and no one wanted to voice those thoughts in fear of it being true.

 

The door burst open and a familiar orange-mustached man walked in. “What, giving up already? Guess you lot don’t want to know that there’s a new lead.” He teased, and immediately, the five were off the bed and at attention. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme know what you think 
> 
> yall know the drill
> 
> im lazy


	9. caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)))

“Where are we going?” Shiro was the first one to break the hopeful silence. He stared at Coran as if the other man held all the secrets to the whereabouts of his wife, and in a way, Allura’s uncle did. He knew things about her that no one else did. He knew her like the back of his hand, was the one who seemed the most optimistic, the one who was truly the most suited out of all the group to find Allura. All that in a man who wore bright clothes and had orange hair, for god’s sake. 

 

“I’ll tell you after you guys get cleaned up. Shiro, have you been drinking? That means a shower for you. The rest of you, get packed. I’ll pack and tell you on the drive there. Also, Shiro, you aren’t driving. Unfortunately, no matter how much you convince me that you’re sober, you will not be operating a driving device for a full day.” Coran said. 

 

Had it not been for the splitting headache that had been beginning to encroach his brain, Shiro might have found it funny how the other man actually called a car a driving device, but there were other matters to think about first. He disappeared into the bathroom to take another shower, jesus, how many showers had he been taking?

 

All the others followed the adult’s orders, everyone disappearing into their own rooms to clean up. Coran himself went downstairs to check them all out. 

 

Thirty minutes later, the entire group was gathered in the car, everyone looking at Coran expectantly. The man drove in silence, driving everyone crazy. 

 

“Okay, I’ll bite. Coran, where are we going?” Lance was the one who broke the silence, wearing a red hoodie. Yes, the red jacket was most definitely not his, but he preferred his boyfriends’ over his. Of course, he wouldn’t admit it, and if anyone dared to ask why the hell he was wearing the red one, he would say that he won it. 

 

(Which he did, but that was another story.)

 

“We’re going to see an apartment.” Coran answered vaguely, and through the rearview mirror, Shiro could see the irritation bubbling on Pidge’s face at the man’s answers.

 

“No thanks. I’m not really interested in you trying to sell a place to me, I’m more interested in the fact that we have to find Allura.” Pidge said sassily, and grinned with pride as she caught Shiro’s shoulders shaking in laughter. 

 

Coran grumbled something under his breath, and it was far too quiet for anyone to really hear, but it sounded something like “These kids these days…have no patience, have no respect for elders..”

 

Shiro looked over to the man. “So, where are we going?” He pressed again, his eyebrow raising in curiosity. 

 

Coran sighed. “I got a police tip that someone had sighted Allura in one of Lotor’s old apartments. Whether he has her or she was doing some poking around, I don’t know but I know where the apartment is, and I know that it was quite recent.” He supplied them with information.

 

“What is she doing? Is she looking for something? Coran, do you know of anything that she’s looking for?” Keith asked, his face twisted in an unreadable expression.

 

“No, I don’t know anything of the sort. What would make you think that?” Coran asked, meeting the young man’s eyes in the rearview mirror. 

 

Keith shook his head, deep in thought. “I’m just wondering why she would return to a place of someone who’s her enemy.” He mused aloud, everyone following his line of thought. 

 

It didn’t make sense. If Allura was running from Lotor, why would she willingly return to a place of his?

 

They pulled up to the apartment and wasted no time parading up the stairs and into the cozy apartment. This time, however, there were no pictures to greet them. It looked like any other apartment, neat and nicely furnished. When the opened the door, there had been a light flurry of dust, but that was about it. They had called out into the apartment, asking if anyone was home, but no one answered.

 

“Okay, guys. Spread out. Comb through the room. Leave no stone unturned.” Shiro commanded, and everyone nodded. This apartment was less scary to inspect. The other one had been filled with haunting pictures of their friend, each and every corner filled with bright blue eyes and silver hair. There was none of that here, and had they not known that Lotor was a psychopathic stalker, the apartment might have looked like it belonged to a normal person.

 

“It’s too clean.” Hunk complained, no one appreciated the lived-in look more than he did. But still, the causal statement struck a note with everyone. Hunk was right. It was too clean, too neat to belong to someone. 

 

“I’m smelling bleach here.” Pidge said from where she stood in the kitchen. The boys made their way over to her, all of them inspecting the area around the bleached tile. “I see crimson.” Hunk said quietly. Lance pointed out scuff marks, as if they were signs of a struggle. At these observations, Coran immediately ordered everyone to step away and whipped out his phone to call the police. 

 

The police came, the CSI group swabbing and looking at the bleached spot. They confirmed everything that the group feared: the blood was Allura’s, there were signs of a struggle, and it was between Lotor and Allura.

 

The news only made the group scared, fearful for their friend. Keith had been right. Allura wouldn’t have gone to a place where she knew she could have been in danger. She wouldn’t have. Which meant she had been caught. 

 

As they stared at the bleached spot, an officer held an item up in his hands.

 

“Hey, you guys recognize this?” the officer asked, causing the entire group of six to turn over to him.

 

In the officer’s hands, was a small, pink, leather-bound book. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all hoes know the drill


	10. diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the diaaaarryyy

_Dear Diary,_

 

_Oh dear. Do I need to write that now every single time? I’d prefer not to, honestly. Anyways. I know diaries are supposed to start in the present, but Coran has always said that talking about something that haunts you in the past can help ease the weight on your chest._

 

_I am in a position where I am unable to do that, unable to talk to someone, thus I turn to this book._

 

_But I suppose I should start off with the first day I met him. Oh, the first day I met him…it was like…everything that a romance novel talked about. Everything. Our entire relationship was like that, and I should have known that it was too good to be true. Nevertheless, the first meeting was absolutely wonderful._

 

_I had noted him looking in my direction during a college expo, and sure, a lot of people were there, but he was looking at me. I don’t know why, but that thought made me proud. That this insanely gorgeous man was looking at me. He was nice as he approached me, asking me to grab a cup of coffee with him. I accepted._

 

_Oh, dear. He was so amazing. So handsome, so funny. By the end of it all, he had me laughing so hard, we both were crying from all the laughter, and he had quietly swept my hair back and tucked a sweet rose in my hair._

 

_I loved it. No other man did this, yet he did._

 

_He asked for my number, I gave it to him._

 

_The day we started dating, it was cute. He had wanted to ask me on the bridge on campus, the one that ran over the makeshift river. He had done this little cheesy musical theme note, and ended up toppling over into the water when he had stood on the railing._

 

_Oh, I had found it adorable. And I accepted his proposal for me to be his girlfriend, even though he was soaking wet and a frog was nestled in his locks._

 

_Nothing good could come of this, but then, I was too young and blinded with love for this new man, this new man who treated me like the queen I thought I was. The two months after we started dating, things started to change. He became more of a controlling aspect in my life, which was welcome.He was the one who told me study when I got distracted, was the one to tell me to work out to reduce stress._

 

_I had seen it as a welcome change and embraced it, just like how I had embraced living with him._

 

_Then, things started to get worse. When I was too tired from my shifts at work to work out, he quietly stated that I was gaining weight. He continually disproved of my friends, over and over again, and soon made me cut off contact with them._

 

_I don’t want to go into the rest. My therapist would say that it wouldn’t be beneficial. So I won’t._

 

_I think I’ll leave it here for the night._

 

_~_

 

_My father had the bright idea to marry me off to keep me safe. He married me to a man…who actually hates me. And I mean hates me._

 

_My wedding was…not a wedding.I would have rather gotten shot or something. I didn’t want to get married, that wasn’t the solution. I don’t even know my husband. I don’t know him. My wedding dress was ugly, and I wanted to cry through the ceremony._

 

_I know I must sound like a spoiled brat. But he hates me. Shiro hates me._

 

_Shiro thinks of me like I’m a stumbling, stuttering fool, an odd woman who’s his burden. I would love to give him what he deserves, but that Allura is gone now. This Allura cannot manage words in the real world. This Allura cannot stand up for herself._

 

_It’s shameful, to see what I’ve become. I think I hate myself._

 

_I think I hate my husband. I think I really do. It’s enough that I have to listen to the begging and the moans coming from his bedroom, but there must be a reason why my father would have sent me here._

 

_To live with him, of all people._

 

_I’ll stay._

 

_~_

 

_I told him. I told him that something wasn’t right. I can feel it. I don’t know how, but I can feel it. Something is not right._

 

_I told him, and he said he didn’t believe me._

 

_That’s a lie. Otherwise, why would he keep a close eye on me? Why would he elect to spend his day off with me? With me, of all people?_

 

_He’s different. I misjudged him. The women stop coming. He no longer brings them home. He tries to limit the days when he comes home drunk, but when he does, it’s because of something that transpired at work. We sit and eat together, watching the TV._

 

_He has nightmares. Like me. I calm him down, sometimes, just like he calms me. It’s hard to believe that he hates me anymore. It’s hard to believe that he won’t look out for me._

 

_Shiro is the one who got me this book. He is the one who washes the stains of the ink from my fingers, and he is the only one who can watch out for me._

 

_I am able to sleep soundly next to him, because I have faith that this man will keep me safe._

 

_~_

 

_He’s here, he’s here, he’s here. He’s here. He’s here._

 

_The rose—the same rose is in the kitchen. He’s here._

 

_I heard a click._

 

_I heard a click. I’m telling Shiro tonight._

 

_~_

 

_Shiro didn’t believe me. He didn’t believe me—and—he still hates me. He does. I have been blinded by a man once again. Once again._

 

_There is no one left. I can hear the clicking._

 

_I’m leaving. There is no one left. I have nowhere to go.I’m dead._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	11. fragile peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wheee!

Shiro blinked at the book in front of him. His wife’s curly, elegant handwriting penned in that purple sparkly gel pen he had gotten for her stared back at him. All this time, he had been wondering what she was writing in that book, and here, he finally knew. The thought made him sick. He would rather he didn’t. For him, it was a personal testimony to his character, the way he had mistreated her and the way that she had suffered for it. 

 

She had suffered, because of his inability to sit down and be compassionate. 

 

He took solace in the fact that she had hated him at first, but she too had seen the good in him. She, a person that he barely knew, had seen the good in him in the short time that they had been living together. She had trusted him enough, trusted him enough to close her eyes when she went to sleep. 

 

His thoughts weren’t coherent anymore, thanks to the disbelief of finding his wife’s written word on paper. If he traced the letters of the last few pages, he could feel exactly when she had had her breakdown, when her pen threatened to tear through the paper, when her tears had hit the paper and stained the letters. 

 

“Shiro?” A low voice came up behind him, belonging to Pidge. Coran had decided that the morale of the team was hitting an all time low with the information about the capture of Allura. The older adult had whisked them all away to the hotel once more, making sure that they slept and ate and tried to function while the police canvassed the entire scene, looking for more clues.

 

And up until this moment, the entire group had been looking at Shiro, reading his facial expressions as he read the diary. After all, he had been the one to recognize it, to see what it really was. Unfortunately for the group, Shiro’s emotional rollercoaster took place internally, making his face blank as a slate. 

 

“I finished.” He said, but his voice came out choked. He cleared his throat, which wasn’t much use, and spoke again. “I finished it.” He said, his voice gravelly, but this time intelligible. 

 

Coran was the first to extend his hand out to Shiro, and the younger man place the pink book in said hand. And so it got passed around. 

 

Coran read carefully, as if the purple letters held a secret message in them. He read the diary, scanned it over again, and another time. He needed to see if this was a way for her to communicate with them, to tell them where she was, but all his efforts seemed fruitless. With a tightening of his lips, he handed the book over to Pidge. 

 

Pidge studied the book like Coran did, except she had facial expressions, unlike the other two before her. Of course, she was still trained in subtlety, but there was nothing else to indicate that she was reading and feeling emotions other than the twitch of her lips and a soft sigh. 

 

Hunk was next, and he read differently than all the others. He read slowly, first of all, but that was to be expected. Hunk was someone who savored the time spent in something, and it was no surprise that he took the time to really experience Allura’s writing.He laughed in some places, but by the end of it all, had a steady stream of tears flowing down his face. As Hunk handed the book to Keith, Lance handed his buddy a tissue. 

 

Keith looked at the book as if it was an explosive. Treated it that way as well. He kept the book on his lap and leaned away from it as if he didn’t know it very well, and lightly traced his finger under the words to keep his place. Shiro knew very well that his brother was dyslexic, and laughed at the way Keith seemed to grow absorbed into the words as he read. The kid that would put up fits when asked to read was way different now, he reckoned.

 

Keith passed the book to Lance after a while, who seemed to zip through the pages as if it was nothing. Something told Shiro that it definitely wasn’t Lance’s first time snooping through a diary. 

 

Dear lord, he was violating Allura’s privacy. They all were. He sent her a mental apology for reading, and added that to a list of apologies that he would say to her when he found her. 

 

After Lance was done with his reading, the book made its way back to Shiro, who kept it between his clasped hands. 

 

There was a moment of tense silence, and Shiro mentally prepared himself for the hate he was going to get for his treatment of Allura. 

 

Lance was the one who broke the silence with a cheeky grin. “Man, if it isn’t any romance novel I’ve read! Shiro is so whipped for her!” 

 

“Right?! The man literally washed the pen stains off of her hands for her!” Hunk chortled, shooting Shiro a sneaky grin and a wink.

 

“I—“ Shiro said, aware that his cheeks were glowing a faint pink.

 

“And Allura is madly in love with him too! Did you see the way she said that she said that she has faith in him?! Gosh, what a cute love story.”

 

And just like that, the tension was broken, and everyone acted as though Allura hadn’t written that she thought that Shiro hated her. Everyone pretended that they were discussing a couple, madly in love, and the thought was so nice that everyone went along with it, because the reality was far too bleak for them to handle right now.

 

Everyone had fun, making fun of Shiro, making fun of Allura, and talking about the book. Lance did his Shiro impersonation with Hunk perfectly copying Allura’s accent and saying something sickly sweet. 

 

And as troublesome as a time it was, fragile peace descended over them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments inspire updates, leave a kudos!
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	12. guardian angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an angel is introduced

The night continued on, leaving everyone in tears. Somewhere along the way, Coran had done an Allura imitation, and the sight of the man wearing a mop to mimic Allura’s silvery hair and screeching his voice to reach Allura’s high voice was too much for the group to bear, so everyone collapsed into laughter, even stoic Keith, who laughed so hard that tears bubbled up in his eyes. At the sight of his boyfriend cry-laughing, Lance had done the same, causing everyone. They finally were able to settle down, but with a few giggles slipping out from the group here and there. 

 

The silence hung over the group once more, but it was more relaxed, none of the tension remaining from before. Pidge was the one who broke the silence.

 

“Shiro…I know that you were unhappy in your marriage. And although you didn’t treat her in the best manner possible, it’s clear to me that you regret that and that you’re striving to make things right. That being said, going through Allura’s diary was a huge invasion of privacy. Not only for her, but for you too. If we had found this before and didn’t know about your character, this could have shaped our opinions about you in a negative manner. And I don’t think that’s fair. But I think it’s fair for us to come out and really explain and introduce ourselves.” Pidge said, her voice containing quiet authority. 

 

Shiro almost felt bad about doubting them and still not trusting them quite yet as Lance and Hunk nodded, but he could feel bad about that later. He’s sure that any of the others would have felt the same way had they been in his position.

 

Lance was the one who raised his hand as an indication that he wanted to go first, which made Keith snicker and smack the back of his boyfriend’s head. Flushing with embarrassment, Lance rubbed the back of his head and lowered his other hand. 

 

“So, as you guys all know, I went to college with Allura. Well, I still go. Um…there’s a lot of people in my family. And my family…wasn’t really that prepared. They didn’t have funds for any of us, and frankly, no one really expected that I’d want to go off to college. But I did, so when I announced that I was going to apply and go to college, it came as a shock to the family. They told me that I couldn’t go, that they didn’t have money for me to go, but I was adamant. I got into a lot of colleges and promised that I would work throughout college to help pay for it.” Lance said quietly. 

 

He snorted, before continuing. “That was a failure. It worked for a month, but if I wanted to pay the tuition or anything of that sort, I would have to take on more shifts. If I took on more shifts, I wouldn’t have enough time to study, then my grades would dropped. Then, it seemed that I would have to drop out of college. But I had grown close to Allura, and she was sympathetic to my situation. In fact, she paid for my entire college education, made me quit my job so that I could study, and moved me from my crappy dorm to a better one. The only thing that she asked for in return is that I study well and get my degree and be happy.” Lance said, a smile growing on his face at the memories.

 

Lance blinked and was pulled out of whatever world that he had escaped to, and looked at Shiro with a soft smile. “And that’s how I’m connected to your wife.”

 

Hunk was next. “Yeah, same thing here. Except..different. I don’t know if you guys know, but I was the keg man in my college dorm.” He said.

 

Keg man referred to the person people came to when they needed booze, every single floor had one. 

 

“Yeah. And I was a pretty good one. Until I got tangled up with that pretty RA. Her name was Shay, and she was the best girlfriend, until she said that I couldn’t be a keg man anymore. And I don’t know if you guys know, but at our college, we take our alcohol very seriously. I said that I couldn’t, that people were counting on me, and she tossed me out of the dorms. Allura found out, and as per my wishes, didn’t confront Shay. Instead, she got me a better dorm, which is how I ended up as Lance’s roommate, and a dorm where there was no pressure for me to the keg man. Pretty stupid, I know, but that week of being homeless was the absolute worst, dude.” Hunk laughed. 

 

And Pidge was the one to go last. “Allura’s my adoptive older sister.” She said quietly, and everyone’s eyes bugged out. Everyone looked at Coran, who looked as shocked as everyone else. 

 

“Hear me out. I was…fifteen. My parents have been dead for…a very long time. My older brother, Matt, had been killed just a few years before, and I don’t want to talk about what happened with him. But yeah. I made it through high school, which was easy, skipping grades at a time. I knew the material and everything from studying it before when my brother was alive. I forged my parents’ signatures, told teachers that they were too busy working.” Pidge said.

 

“I didn’t want to end up in the foster system. Besides, I was doing fine on my own. Until college. See, if I said that I was 15, they would have made a big deal of it, and all that jazz, so I waited a year and applied a bit later, lying about my age. Soon, things got a bit complicated. I wound up in jail for a DUI, no, I wasn’t drinking and driving, but I was drinking and underage and didn’t have an ID, and was in the passenger seat with those driver instruction paddles, and was asked to call my parents. Allura was there, trying to bail someone out, and well, she saw that I was hesitating to call. She came over to me and asked me what was happening, and in my drunken state, I told her. She pretended as though she was my legal guardian and got me released. And then she did the thing where she asked me my situation in the morning, and before I knew it, she was legally my older sister.” Pidge said with a soft smile.

 

Everyone else sank back into their seats, pondering if they were actually searching for a guardian angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill ;)


	13. speculation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one's a filler chapter! just some shiro thinking. shit goes down in the next chapter!

It was time for a reevaluation. All the other paladins knew this, because they let Shiro be and walked out of his room, the only thing other than him was the pink book and the various items of furniture dispersed around. 

 

Now he actually had something to go off of. He could hear her voice, her humor seeping through the pages. He could envision what made her decide to stay with him for as long as she did. He finally knew what she thought of him.

 

Which meant that his view on her was changing. This once mysterious figure was beginning to open to him, showing him sides of her that he never bothered to ask about.

 

But yes, reevaluation. Where did she stand in his life? 

 

Wife. As much as he initially hated it, he knew that in some way, the two of them were connected by a bond. She was his wife. That was all he could use to explain his relationship to her. 

 

She wasn’t a friend, not yet. He hadn’t posed much of an ally to her for her to consider him as a friend. He didn’t know enough about her to consider her a friend. And the fact that she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there to advance their relationship, or anything of the sort. 

 

Lover? That would be one-sided. And he wasn’t even sure he loved her. Did he? Was it that which was pulling him to her, making him so desperate to find a woman that he barely knew? No, no. He _barely_ knew her! He couldn’t be falling in love with someone he didn’t know. And for the record, any feelings of love had been long extinguished, for anyone. He didn’t love anymore. He couldn’t. 

 

Enemy? He wouldn’t go as far as to say that. Although the beginnings of their relationship had been quite rocky, her hating him, him hating her, they had become better, right? 

 

Damn it. Despite all this new information, he still couldn’t gain a good enough read on her. 

 

But when he closed his eyes, the answer was clear. Emblazoned on the backs of his eyelids was his wife, laughing and smiling and doing things to him that made his heart flutter in a way that it never had before. He could see the long, silvery hair, sweeping around her pretty, round face in a tantalizing way. 

 

He knew what his desire was. He knew that he wanted to draw her into his arms, hold her tight. Whisper his apologies. Her to accept them. He wanted to hold her tight and whisper everything wrong that he’d ever done, to apologize over and over again. 

 

Because he was a sinner, and his wife was the purest person he’d ever come into contact with. 

 

Now, Shiro wasn’t religious or anything of that sort. But he largely suspected that he was a terrible person. Maybe the attraction to her was one of self worth, for him to be a good person again. That seemed like a fantasical thought, as if her very touch could heal everything that he’d experience. 

 

And maybe it did, but not in that manner. Maybe her presence was supposed to be an eye-opener. Something of that crap.

 

Eh, that was a stretch. 

 

Shiro blinked and sighed. His thoughts had gotten off track once more, and now he was speculating rather than reflecting. That was not good. 

 

He closed his eyes once more and focused on his wife. She trusted him, had seen the good in him. And something in him had appealed to her for her to ask him to help. That had to be good, right?

 

Maybe this wasn’t about finding her. Maybe this was about finding himself. 

 

Because, who was he? If you had asked him a few months ago, he would say he was a soldier. A soldier, ready to kill and murder for the sake of his country. He would say it with pride as well.After all, what else was more patriotic than fighting for the sake of your nation? Nothing. It would have been his sole word to describe him. 

 

But that wasn’t him anymore. He had been betrayed by a fellow soldier, and the war had taken away his voice to tell everyone what had really happened.

 

He couldn’t say police officer either. For one, he couldn’t keep on using job titles to encompass who he really was. Secondly, he didn’t feel the profound attachment to this job that he had felt when he was in the army. 

 

That left him with a question. Who was he? He was just like his outlook of Allura, blurry, mysterious, and hard to grasp. He himself didn’t know who he was, how was he supposed to figure out his wife?

 

Well, fuck. Now he was thinking about some mystical inner-eye shit, which is definitely not where he wanted to be. What was next, meditation? Crystals with some healing power? Dear lord. 

 

He opened his eyes and sighed. It was clear that none of the topics he had thought about were going to come to any light with one session of thinking about it. And, on a sidenote, he didn’t really want to think about it, if he was honest.

 

He got up off the bed, and walked around. Maybe he needed to look at the diary again. He picked up the book, feeling the leather under his rough fingers, and flipped open the pages. It was hard to believe that she wrote in this so much and only wrote about a few instances. 

 

He flipped through the pages, again and again. The curly handwriting seemed to glare at him from its pressed state, and he shuddered.

 

Great. Now he was losing it again. If he was losing his mind, could he get his hallucination Allura back?

 

He gazed at the pages with a sort of scientifical interest. He narrowed his eyes, and saw that there was a scrawl, very tiny, under the pages. 

 

He thought it was a design….

 

But he was wrong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! 
> 
> comments inspire updates! feedback is super appreciated! 
> 
> drop a kudos if you enjoyed!
> 
> and as always: catch me on tumblr @chai-and-coffee


	14. messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allura's messages!
> 
> WARNING: this chapter is a bit dark. Allura mentions that she's thinking about assisted suicide and themes of that sort. There is also mentioned abuse. Read at your own risk, but feel free to skip this chapter if that doesn't float your boat.

A magnifying glass. He needed a magnifying glass. Where the hell was he going to get a magnifying glass at one in the morning? 

 

Well, shit. He had his phone. Technology was truly great (said the man who had to be taught how to install apps). He opened the camera, and pinched his fingers outwards, and studied the words displayed on his camera. 

 

Damn, she was smart. 

 

Allura had written near the lines, small enough that no one would notice. She had written upside down as well, making it harder. Shiro recognized this tactic as something that old-time spies would use. 

 

_If you’re reading this_ , Allura had written, t _hat means that you are most definitely not me. Lotor has me, and well, that’s not good. For once, I will let you go for invading my privacy and snooping through my diary. I digress. If you have found this, that means that I have been caught by Lotor and that my diary remains._

 

_I don’t know what else to tell you. He keeps me under constant watch, but he allows me to write. I’m planning to jump out the window when he’s asleep. Something of that sort. I’ve never been good at planning, I’ll make it up as I go along._

 

Shiro felt a bit sick. The plan must have gone wrong, and he must have punished her for daring to escape. Enough. Keep reading. 

 

_I don’t really think that Lotor’s smart enough to find this out anyways. He just thinks I’m scribbling nonsense. Which I am. Who’s reading this?_

 

_Lotor’s taking me to Dubai. I should have said that first. He’s planning to get us new identities or something. I don’t know. I’d rather die._

 

_He’s been…off. Sometimes he’s kind, nice. The man I fell in love with. The other times, he’s…dark. I won’t say anything else, but when I get home, my hospital bills are going to leave us in debt._

 

_Forgive my humor. It’s all I have left._

 

_But I’m scared. Whoever is reading this, I’m scared. I’m so, so scared, and I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be here. Come quick, please._

 

Shiro felt his heart stop at her written pleas. So strong. She was so strong. He’d be there. He’d go to Dubai and save her. 

 

But it seemed that she was hellbent on saving herself. It was apparent in her words, the inner strength she possessed. 

 

_I saw my husband in that coffeeshop. I was surprised to find out that he was out, looking for me. I would have stayed, would have told him everything that was going on, but Lotor was only a few ways behind me. What was he doing there? Was he following a lead? Why did he look so tired, so..bad? Was he worried over me?_

 

Yes! He was! 

_I must be reading too much of those novels. He probably was there on a work assignment. After all, he was the one who said that he didn’t believe me._

 

_Who would believe me? I wouldn’t. This is too crazy. I wonder if this is all a hallucination, if I’m still locked in my mind, playing out a horrible life, a shell in Shiro’s living room._

 

_If that’s the case, I hope someone puts me down. Potassium straight to my heart would work. Is euthanasia legal in our state? Wouldn’t I have to be sound of mind in order to let that happen? Maybe I should just ask Shiro to shoot me. Knowing him, he’d do it in a heartbeat._

 

Shiro felt his heart drop. She thought he would kill her?! No, no! He wouldn’t—never—

 

_I’m not sure that I can trust my mind anymore. I sought refuge here when things outside were bad, but now…it’s turning against me. I just…I want to go outside. Feel the sun. Not have my hands tied, not be constantly monitored by someone._

 

_I think I just want to be free, but that’s becoming harder and harder to reach._

 

_Ah, it’s clear that my optimism is waning. There’s only so much more I can take. I’m tired._

 

No, no, no! She needed to stay strong! She would be okay. She would be okay. But all this meant that Shiro’s timeline to find her had just been shortened. He needed to find her before she unraveled. 

 

With the last statement of her fatigue, the sneaky writing had been cut off. He jumped up and made his way to Coran’s room, where the others were already gathered. 

 

“What do you have?” Coran asked, seeing the stricken look on Shiro’s face. 

 

“Allura—she wrote—going to Dubai.” He panted, tossing them the diary and asking them to magnify the writing she had written covertly. 

 

While they read it, Keith spoke up. “I just got a call from the CSI that had inspected the house. The tests came back. It appears that there was a struggle between the two, late at night, based on the time samples of the blood. There was evidence of DNA on the window. They’re speculating that Allura tried to escape via the window, he caught her. He dragged her off, and a scuffle on the floor ensued.” He paused, and looked at Shiro. “The blood most probably came from her nose or something of that sort, but they calculate that Allura might have sustained some brain damage from being dragged away at that velocity.” He said softly. 

 

Shiro blinked. His wife, hurt, because of that mongrel. 

 

“We need to get to Dubai.” He said, and Pidge caught his attention. 

 

“Already on it. I’ve been tracking recent flights, and it seems as though two figures looking like Lotor and Allura boarded a few hours ago. Allura’s disguised as a hospital patient seeking treatment from doctors in Dubai.” the girl said, typing away.

 

The intent was clear as Shiro said, “Pack up.” Everyone obeyed immediately, scurrying around and cleaning up after themselves.

 

They were going to Dubai. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aAAAA
> 
> jk I already know what's going to happen
> 
> comments inspire updates! tell me what you thought, what you think is going to happen!
> 
> drop a kudos if you enjoyed
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	15. dubai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just some light space dad fluff as a break

Ah, Dubai. 

 

The airport was fucking bigger than anything Shiro had ever seen before. Did he appreciate the thirty minute walk from one side to another? No, not really, but then again, he really wasn’t walking. He was on those slidey flat escalator thingies, but he had enough work telling Lance that no, he wasn’t supposed to ride on the moving rails, that no, Pidge couldn’t try and get her shoelace caught in the sides, and that no, Hunk and Keith couldn’t see if they could run on the backwards moving one. 

 

Nevertheless, the city was pretty. It was like…a cool version of Los Angeles. 

 

“Isn’t this place supposed to be a desert? Why is there so much water?” Hunk asked suspiciously, tilting his head as he looked around. 

 

“I read somewhere that they export water. Or is it an oasis? Something. I don’t know. I sort of forgot that Dubai existed.” Lance mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. The group continued down the streets, Coran taking the lead. Of course, Coran would take the lead, because he knew the city well due to his business endeavors here. 

 

Of course, Coran also wanted to make it as fun as possible for the kids, which is how a grumpy Shiro ended up holding little bags of “I <3 Dubai” magnets and other shit of the same sort. 

 

“Can we—just get back to business?” Shiro asked underneath the brim of a bright yellow ‘DUBAI’ hat which clashed atrociously with his hair. Of course, the hat was Hunk’s, but the boy had decided that it would look better on Shiro. (That was a lie.)

 

“Relax. Allura and Lotor had a layover in…Amsterdam or something. They’ll be here in a few hours.” Pidge said, checking her phone. She was tracking their flight, as well as Lotor’s credit card. (Because who else would have their credit card registered under the name ‘John Doe’?)

 

“Are we still seriously sightseeing?” Shiro tried again, but the glare from Coran shut him up. Okay, fine. He’ll smolder in silence. 

 

Shiro knew that he shouldn’t be so tough, that he had practically yanked these kids from their home country and taken them to a new place, and that they were kids, and should be able to experience things like this. But he couldn’t help feel that something was wrong, that something was off, that something was different. 

 

Was he Spiderman now, but with Allura senses? That was dumb. Jesus, did the air-hostess put some shit into his coke?

 

Everything was fine. Everything was fine, he was overreacting. Everything was fine, and all he had to do was sit back and let Coran take the lead while waiting for that idiotic son of a bitch to arrive with his wife. 

 

Yes, _his_ wife. His wife. Lotor could jump off a cliff. 

 

Sometime while he was thinking, Pidge had taken Shiro’s hand and was pulling him in the direction that the group was walking. Usually, he was the one grabbing hands and yanking back his reckless children to make sure that they didn’t get hit by a car, but the situation was reversed. 

 

He smiled down at the girl, silently thanking her for her thoughtful action, and ruffled her hair. While the action might have provoked a very irritated Pidge, the girl just seemed to beam and tug him a little bit more. 

 

They caught up to where Coran, Hunk, Lance, and Keith were watching something with interest. 

 

“I can’t see.” Pidge grumbled, and Shiro sighed for a moment, before his eyes lighting up. 

 

He scooped up the girl and swung her to sit on one of his shoulders, just so that she could see the two boys swordfighting. Just another day in Dubai. 

 

Katie seemed oddly pleased with this, and she was pretty happy to stay up there. It was pretty nice for Shiro too, considering the fact that Pidge took the ridiculous hat off of his head and covertly put it back on Hunk’s head. 

 

Pidge’s phone pinged and she tapped Shiro’s ear to get his attention. A bit weird for a spot to call for someone’s attention, but don’t blame her, she had short arms. 

 

“They’re landing. I’m going to track them via the cameras, but it would be easier if I could use my laptop.” She informed him, and saw him nod in response. Shiro conveyed the information she had just told him efficiently to the others, and soon Coran was ushering them in a little spot where Pidge could sit down and work. 

 

Of course, it was a Starbucks. Because where else could you get coffee and free wifi? Note the sarcasm.

 

“I didn’t get to ride on Shiro’s shoulder.” Keith sulked into his mocha frap, and only looked grumpier as his boyfriend patted his head. 

 

Shiro held back a laugh as he sipped his black coffee, glancing over to check on Pidge’s status. 

 

“Okay, guys. Looks like Lotor’s meeting his contact in the Burj.” She conveyed casually, in the way someone might say “I’m going to Vons.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait. As in, the Burj? The Burj Khalifa?” Hunk said, throwing his hands up like he was being arrested for no reason.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” Pidge said, pushing her glasses up.

 

“Okay, so what’s our plan?” Shiro asked. 

 

“Shiro, you’re going to be the contact. Take….Keith with you. And the rest of us have to play a game of keep-away to make sure that the actual contact never makes contact with Lotor.” Pidge said, as if this was the easiest thing in the world. 

 

“Which means that we have to get ready! And costumes! This is very James Bond-esque.” if there was anyone who was super enthused for the plan, it was Coran.

 

“I was going for Mission Impossible.” Pidge grinned at Coran.

 

“Okay. We should get started.” Shiro groaned, smacking his head. This was going to be a disaster, he just knew it. He could feel it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments encourage updates! Lemme know what you thought!
> 
> drop a kudos if you liked!
> 
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	16. roles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone's got a role to play  
> ew i'm so sorry for this sucky chapter

“For the record, I really, really hate this.” Shiro grumbled adjusting the earpiece in his ear. 

 

“Your comment is noted and will be taken into consideration.” Keith said as he adjusted his brother’s collar.

 

The group had taken up residence in one of the rooms of the Burj Khalifa. Everyone had been surprised to find out that Coran could afford it, and even more surprised when they realized that Coran was one of the wealthy business tycoons of Dubai. 

 

Their plan to get Allura was simple. Well, not really simple, but everyone was trying to be optimistic. Their plan consisted of a few steps. Shiro would be posing as the business contact who was supposed to be selling Lotor the fake identification and passports, while Lance and Coran would be posing as Lotor to talk to the real contact. 

 

Shiro would find out where Allura was being held. Once he got that information from Lotor, he would detain him. That information would be relayed to Hunk and Keith, who would drive to the location and pick up Allura. And Pidge would stay in the hotel room, covering everyone’s asses via laptop.

 

Needless to say, Shiro was not pleased with the plan of things. 

 

“There’s a reason why I didn’t go on undercover ops. I’m terrible at acting, really. I should be the one driving to see Allura.” He protested as he got dressed. Shiro wore a crisp blue button up and dark pants, not really sure what to wear when meeting a man to do illegal activities. 

 

“Yeah, because Lotor won’t get suspicious when there’s a sixteen year old talking to him about those fake drivers licenses he was asking about.” Pidge said sarcastically from where she clacked away at her laptop. The girl was one of the few teammates that was actually pleased with her roll, and the stash of cup noodles that sat next to her on the couch just enunciated her happiness. 

 

“Keith looks old enough. He could be the one to talk to Lotor.” Shiro grumbled, batting away his brother’s hands to study himself in the mirror. He looked pretty good, but the fact that he wasn’t going to be the first one to see his wife put a damper on things. He wanted to be the one to find her, to hug her and tell her that she was okay, to apologize for his actions. He wanted to be able to do that as soon as he found her, not just some afterthought. 

 

“No, Shiro. You’re the one who’s going to have to do this. No one else can go. I’m too young for it, Coran needs to pose as the rich snotty guy, and honestly, none of the other boys are really that great at acting or carrying themselves.” Pidge said around a mouthful of noodles. 

 

“I take full offense to that. I have plenty of charm.” Lance huffed, crossing his arms like a petulant child. 

 

“Yeah, Lance. You do, that’s why you’re going with Coran, remember?” Hunk stepped in quickly to soothe Pidge’s words. The yellow hooded boy hadn’t complained about his assignment at all, except to offer Shiro to switch if he really wanted to . There was a reason why Hunk was Shiro’s favorite. 

 

Of course, he couldn’t say that to the kids. They’d immediately pout, cry, or get upset. And of course, he wasn’t supposed to have a favorite.

 

(But he did. It was Hunk.)

 

“Yeah, Lance. You got that razzle dazzle.” Coran supplied helpfully from where he was adjusting his suit. The older man wore a full businessman suit. Everything about him screamed money, and Shiro knew that Pidge had been right. Coran was the only one who could pull of the spoiled rich businessman look, considering the fact that he was a spoiled rich businessman. 

 

It was hard to see that once one got to know Coran. Coran was literally the farthest thing from being cancerous or entitled. 

 

That being said, he wasn’t really sure what screamed ‘covert business operative’ about himself, but then again, here he was. 

 

Focus, Shiro. What was the end goal of all this? Shiro closed his eyes, seeing the same image as always. 

 

Allura smiled back at him in the depths of his mind’s eye, her eyes soft and understanding. She was the goal. She was the goal. 

 

There was no reason for him to stray away from the plan now. Not when his wife was so close. He was so close to getting her back, wrapping her up in a hug and shielding from any more of the horrors of the world. 

 

Sometime during his search, the lines between her being a simple missing person case and her being the only important thing in his life got blurred. Somewhere along the line, Shiro had realized that without her, there was no one for him. 

 

He couldn’t falter in his mission now, not now, not ever. Not until he got his wife back. 

 

He unbuttoned the top button of his shirt so he could reach and pull out the little pendant. It felt strangely warm, and he held it up to his lips like it was a soft kiss from the owner herself. “We’re so close,” He whispered to the bent metal, holding it like it was holy. “So close. Hang tight. I’m almost there. I’m so sorry.” He said, before tucking the necklace back under his shirt. As he buttoned up once more, Pidge’s voice came up from behind him.

 

“Alright, everyone. Let’s get to positions.”

 

Go time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sucked don't even bother liking this one i'm sorry i'm sick  
> catch me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


	17. deception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> because i adore mission impossible

“I’ve got the ID and everything ready for you. Where is your girlfriend?” The informant’s voice was simply a murmur, but Shiro could hear everything through his comms unit just as well. Coran muttered something that was clearly picked up by the unit, but Shiro wasn’t paying attention.

 

He currently sat in one of the banquet floors of the Burj. He looked around, seeing the velvet patterns with the saffron stained threads decorate the floor as carpet. He saw the slight manner in which the chandelier swung, thousands and thousands of Swarovski crystals dangling from the ceiling and tantalizing his eyes with their rays. 

 

This room was worth more than him, and the thought of that made him feel slightly sick. 

 

Of course, he wasn’t alone in the room, there were several others. Apparently there had been a party here yesterday, and now a few stragglers raced around the room to clean up. The setting was perfect. Anyone in the room was to focused on trying to clean up the area in preparation for the next party tonight, and they caused so much action for anyone not to notice that a shady transaction was going on.

 

Shiro would have liked to say that he stuck out like a sore thumb and therefore was inadequate at his part of the mission, but the truth is, he blended in well. There was an air of superiority that hung off his shoulders, that made people respect him. That being said, his fancy clothes looked very nice on him as well. When he got home, he might consider making an investment in silk shirts to wear some place nice.

 

“I think Lotor is here, Shiro. He’s striding up the stairs with a sense of purpose, looks like he’s rushing. Has the same hair, seems to be running, almost. I think we have our man. He’s coming right towards you.” Pidge said on the intercom. 

 

Luckily, because Coran was dealing with the actual provider and had a communicating device attached to his ear, Shiro knew exactly what to say. 

 

“Man’s in the room.” Came Pidge’s voice as a tousled, hurried man came rushing inside. As soon as the man caught sight off the other people in the room, he slowed, pretending to look around. Of course, it wasn’t as professional as Shiro would have expected someone like Lotor to be. 

 

But then the man turned, and Shiro’s stomach turned. 

 

This wasn’t the man he knew. This wasn’t the man who had been his friend, who had once had his back in the middle of combat. This wasn’t the man who had stared down at him, trying to make him scream as he took his arm off. This wasn’t the man that Shiro knew so well. This wasn’t Lotor. 

 

Because if it was, Lotor would be running and turning away from Shiro, not walking towards him with a sense of purpose. 

 

“It’s not him.” He said smoothly into the earpiece, before looking at the man expectantly.

 

“Are you Lotor?” Shiro asked with a tilt of his head, slipping into the characteristic of someone who dealt in illegal identification services. What that characteristic entailed, he didn’t quite know, but he was in the zone right now. 

 

“Nah, man. I’m not Lotor. Good to hear that you speak English, though. My Arabic is rusty.” The man smiled. “Lotor sent me in his place.”

 

American. This man was American. Shiro filed that away for future use, one could never know what could come in useful. 

 

“Oh. Why’s he not here?” Shiro asked, keeping his shoulders relaxed so they wouldn’t tense and betray him of the rising tension he felt bubbling up in his chest. Something was wrong, and he didn’t like the feel of this. 

 

“He lost the girl, somewhere. He’s paranoid that his girlfriend’s husband is going to come after him, so he’s hiding out in a small place up north. Iran, I think. The mountain Sahand. I’m supposed to be the broker, to connect you and him! Don’t worry, I’m quite reliable. I’ll get the…package to him in no time.” The man seemed earnest and happy about his job, which threw Shiro for a loop. This man was young, maybe mid-twenties, and seemed to be so happy with whatever he was doing. 

 

“Shit.” He could hear the others curse on the comms about the fact that Lotor had lost Allura and was hiding out, and he slightly winced with the need to correct their language. 

 

“You okay?” The man asked, concerned by his sudden wince in the conversation.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Shiro said, remembering himself and where he was. “Sorry, heard a bit of ringing in my ears. So, I can hand the package off to you?” 

 

The man nodded, and Shiro reached into his coat pocket, transferring over the small manilla folder easily. The folder was supposed to hold passports, drivers’ licences, things to get both Allura and Lotor started off. But in reality, all they held were small collections of pamphlets of Happy Meals, courtesy of Hunk. 

 

The man patted the folder and seemed pretty content with how the items inside sounded. He smiled at Shiro before taking his leave. As soon as the man had left the banquet hall, Shiro whirled around and pressed his hand to his ear. 

 

“Did everyone hear that?” He asked, sighing quietly. Once again, Allura slipped out of his grasp. Although he was happy that she was away from Lotor, and that the son of a bitch was scared of him, he really needed to find his wife. Soon. The doctors had predicted that she had suffered severe damage in some kind of way to the brain, and he needed to find her quickly and make sure she was okay. 

 

“Yep. What’s our plan of action, boss?” Keith said, and he could hear the sounds of the car driving on the road. He assumed that they were on their way back. 

 

“I suggest we find Lotor and find out where she is from him. Then we go to Allura.” He said. 

 

“Sounds good, Shiro.” Lance said, clear approval in his voice. 

 

“That’s all good, but Shiro? There’s a bit of a problem. The man’s on his way back to you, and he does not look happy.” Pidge called out over the comms unit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all know the drill ;)


	18. fight fight fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A LIGHTHEARTED FIGHT SCENE  
> just some dry humor to lighten you up

“Ah, shit.” Shiro muttered as he looked at the man who appeared to be very upset, storming towards him. The thing is, Shiro didn’t really know what the other man was upset about. There were a variety of options. The dude could be mad about the fact that Shiro wasn’t really the contact, or that the things in the manilla folder wasn’t really what Lotor had asked for, or even the fact that Shiro looked way better than the other guy. Hey, you never know. The other dude could be completely insecure that a buff Asian dude managed to pull off a nice-ass shirt and pressed pants. People were weird. 

 

“So, I was thinking,” Said the man as he approached Shiro, and it was very obvious that the other was not pleased. A vein stood out in his forehead amongst the angry red splotches of his skin. “Why on earth would the contact not know that Lotor had lost his girl? After all, the contact received the message hours ago that plans had changed.” The man said. 

 

“Heh…maybe the text didn’t go through.” Shiro fibbed, grasping at straws. Damn it. No one had ever told him that Lotor had actually talked with the contact. 

 

“It was a call. Which means that you aren’t even the contact, are you?” The man said, rolling his shoulders back as if preparing for a fight. 

 

Looks like the man was upset about Option A. Great job, everyone. 

 

“Shiro, that guy sounds really mad.” Lance said nervously, the sound of his shifting back and forth audible on the communication device. 

 

Shiro had barely acknowledged his words when a punch sailed towards him, barely missing his face. “You think?!” He sputtered out, trying to retaliate with a punch but missed. These damn sleeves were once a blessing, but now were limiting the range of his movement. That wasn’t really a worry at the moment, seeing how Shiro had been taught to adapt to the situation, but he seriously wondered if the other man was going to sit there and watch as Shiro rolled up his sleeves to fight better. 

 

“Aim for the eyes!” Coran supplied helpfully, his cheery voice filling Shiro’s ear. 

 

“Thanks, guys. Really. I appreciate it.” Shiro bit out as he managed to strike a neat uppercut to the man’s jaw. Luckily, Shiro’s pants weren’t as…tight as the sleeves, and he was able to execute a neat side kick, right to the other man’s abdomen.

 

This wasn’t really a thing that was easy to hide, and almost immediately as the two men started fighting, the others in the ballroom scurried away, seeking refuge in the farthest corner. For the most part, they were quiet, which Shiro appreciated. Although he was formidable in a fight, he really didn’t want to fight to the tune of high pitched shrieking. 

 

“Shiro, you need to get out of there, and we need to go.” Pidge’s voice, urgent and hurried came through his earpiece. Unfortunately, he was in the middle of getting smacked by a kick up to his face: it seemed like the other guy had pretty nice pants too. 

 

“Working on it!” He wheezed, struggling to keep his mind from being cloudy as he got hit with a series of punches to his torso. One caught him right in the solar plexus and knocked the wind right out of him, and he fought to keep his eyes open. 

 

Chanelling every single woman (and also breaking the guy code), Shiro brought his leg up, delivering a kick between the man’s legs.

 

Yep. He’s down. Shiro silently sent a thank you to all the queens that had inspired him to take the shot. 

 

Wry humor aside, he now had a human to take care of, a writhing body who was seriously in pain. Not to mention, all the people who had been cleaning up stared at Shiro like he was the devil incarnate. He shot them a smile before bending down and grabbing the collar of his assailant, and dragging him outside the banquet hall.

 

After fifteen minutes and a long wrestle with rope, the man was tied up in a supply closet, tape over his mouth and bound to an iron pole running along the back wall. 

 

“I should say sorry, but then again, I don’t feel sorry.” Was Shiro’s parting statement to the man before walking out of the supply closet. He made his way down via the elevator, feeling the bruises beginning to form. He was definitely going to be sore tomorrow. 

 

Something about the fight made him feel more relaxed, though. As if he had gotten his stress out—-with an accidental human punching bag. Maybe he should go to the gym and spar more. After this was done. 

 

And just like that, he was back into focus. Allura, he needed to find her. He ran out the lobby and slid into the waiting car. 

 

“Drive.” He told Coran. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almooooooost donnnneee!


	19. ascent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a filler chapter and it sucked i'm so sorry

“Anddd, here we go. Back into the car.” Keith huffed quietly as he clambered back into the car. Morale was at an all time low, and it had to do with the long hours that everyone had been traveling. Being stuck in cramped spaced never bode well for anyone, and being stuck with a group for that long tended to enflame emotions. 

 

The group had made it out of UAE and had crossed the small little channel of water between UAE and Iran. That too, had been in a small boat, with a fisherman who seemed to be eyeing their wrists for watches. The boat had made both Hunk and Pidge sick, both of them still not fully recovered. Lance was on his way to getting sick like both of his friends as well, he was turning the same shade and sweat had beaded on his forehead. Shiro knew very well that none of them could continue like this. 

 

Keith for the most part had been fine physically, but the kid’s attitude only grew darker and darker as more time passed. The initial reserved nature had seemed to be gone for the evening, and with every second that ticked by, the kid had more things to gripe about. 

 

Coran was doing well in comparison to the others. The man seemed quieter than usual, but he was burdened with the task of driving. He didn’t say much, just angled the A/C vents to the right people when needed, and controlled the heater as they began their ascent. Shiro was doing okay as well, but he hadn’t moved from his position in a while. He just sat there, with his head slumped against the window, his eyes closed, and his mouth curving up into a faint smile with the memory of his wife. 

 

Shiro could feel the glass of the window getting colder and colder, and Coran’s speed drop. They had been traveling northwest, towards the province of East Azerbaijan. Soon enough, the Sahand mountain was a snowy backdrop against the plains stretching out in front of it. 

 

(That was where Coran’s speed exceeded 110, but honestly, no one really thought to call him out on it.) 

 

They reached the foot of the mountain soon enough, and a few ways up was a small little cabin nestled in the crook of the side of the mountain. If one hadn’t been looking as detailed as they had been, they would have never found it.

 

“I’m guessing that’s where Lotor is.” Keith muttered as Coran carefully guided up the car to begin the ascent. It was a bit tricky, considering the fact that the car they had taken was not really suited for this kind of journey.

 

“I’m afraid we’ve run into a problem.” Coran said after a few minutes of the car creeping steadily up the hill. Despite the fast pace that the man had kept up during the flat drive, now, when the speed was needed the most, they were going at a snail’s pace. 

 

“Great. This is exactly what we need right now. Let me guess, the car’s being too slow and the only way we can get up there to the cabin is if we go on foot.” Hunk groaned from the back, his arms wrapped around his middle. 

 

The group was so shocked at his snappy tone of voice, that it took a moment for Coran to respond. “Yeah, actually.”

 

“Forget it. None of us can go. Coran, you’re dead tired. Pidge, Lance, and Hunk are sick, and I’m on my way to getting sick. Shiro looks as if he’s dead. None of us can go, there are no supplies for us to make it. This isn’t going to be done.” Keith said. 

 

Shiro perked up and shook his head. “I can go. I’m not sick, I haven’t been driving. I can go. It’s not that bad of a climb anyways. It’s like hiking a simple trail. I’ve done it many times before.” He said, shrugging. 

 

Apparently the kids wanted this to be over more than he had originally thought, because with that statement, no one put up a fuss anymore. 

 

Shiro got out of the car and sighed. Due to the scorching hot weather in Dubai, he had packed light clothes, which is still what he wore. But at the elevation of the mountain, the cold breezes that surrounded the mountain were sure to permeate through the thin layer he was wearing. 

 

It was okay, though. The cold and lack of oxygen would provide enough incentive for him to climb faster. Allura. That was the goal behind all of this. Allura, this was for her. Besides, it wasn’t even climbing. It was like…elevated walking. That wasn’t so bad, right? He’d seen the soccer moms around the neighborhood chat about it, and well if they could do it, so could he. 

 

The cold nipped at his skin, and honestly? It was like he wasn’t even wearing anything. Fine, it was fine. It was okay. Just a short walk.

 

With every step, his feet sunk into the snow. Shiro knew very well that because he was numb, he was unable to feel the liquid permeating through his shoes and seeping into his socks. He really needed to work faster so he could get out of there. 

 

He eventually made it up to the cabin and turned the door knob. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont bother this shit was so bad


	20. evolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter: 
> 
> WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE, MENTIONS OF CONTROL, DRINKING, MURDER

Shiro turned the doorknob and was pleasantly surprised to find out that the door creaked open. He hadn’t really been expecting the front door to be unlocked, but at the same time he hadn’t wanted to be the idiot that didn’t try the front door. 

 

He stepped inside and was immediately comforted by the warmth. Screw it. He was cold, miserable, tired, and missing his wife. He didn’t really care if Lotor was there or not, he just wanted to get out of his wet clothes and unwind and relax. 

 

He was aware that by this point, rational Shiro had checked out for the day, but at the moment, he really didn’t care. He really didn’t. 

 

Shiro kicked off his shoes and peeled off his socks, which were by this point sopping wet. He left them by the front door in an odd sense of courtesy. 

 

He made his way into the living room, and his eyes widened when he saw the man that had been taunting his wife right in front of him. 

 

Lotor sat in front of him as if he really didn’t care. The white haired man held a glass in his hand, filled halfway with some kind of alcohol. Upon seeing Shiro, Lotor simply set his glass down, poured another one, and gestured for Shiro to sit across from him. 

 

For Shiro, the experience was sickening. Here was this man, who had lied and took his arm, who had tortured his wife for so long, sitting casually in front of him without a care in the world. He wanted to do damage to that manicured face, to make him pay for all the wrongs he had committed. But instead, Shiro simply took the outstretched glass and sank down, the crackle of the fire behind them. 

 

This reminded him of a scene from an old spy movie, where the protagonist and antagonist sipped their drinks and looked at each other as if the entire fight was centered around sizing one another up. 

 

This was not said spy movie, because now that Lotor was alive and in front of him, he would not be walking out of this cabin alive. 

 

“I wondered why you would be going after her. Why? I saw you. I saw the way you looked at her. You thought that she was mentally insane, mentally unstable, a ward for you to look after and treat her like dirt. Why would someone like you go after her when you didn’t care for her?” Lotor spoke, his voice smooth. 

 

“It must have hit you sometime that she wasn’t that way. Did you know? She used to be vibrant and beautiful and if she walked into a room, everyone’s eyes would be on her. She was brilliant. Her mind was so fast that you couldn’t keep up with her. It was her spirit that I liked the most. See, she got a look in her eye that screamed of her confidence, of her veracity. I liked it. I liked it so much that I had the pleasure of crushing that spirit, of watching her fade.” Lotor said. 

 

Jesus. This man was sick, but had a way with words. Shiro listened, as if entranced by what Lotor was telling him. The man made no move to interject Lotor, but simply nursed his drink.

 

“Her father, that fool, thought that he could hide her from me. Thought that a stupid marriage would do the trick. I caught up to him easily, and now the fishes have their meal.” Lotor said, a grin taking place on his wolfish features. 

 

Shit. Alfor was dead. Allura had lost her father in the time that she had been captured. 

 

“I wanted to go after that uncle, but I figured that he wouldn’t do anything. I was wrong about that, and I’m rarely wrong. I’ll rectify that later.” He said. Lotor’s eyes, dark and sparkling with malignancy, fixated upon Shiro. “And then there’s you. Her…husband.” Lotor pronounced the word as if it was an expletive, something unworthy of ever passing through his lips. 

 

“I thought you hated her. Hell, she thought you hated her. But for some reason, the two of you are still holding onto one another. Even when I dragged her away from the window and watched as she hit her head on the counter, the only word falling from her lips was your name.” Lotor said. “Takashi! Takashi!” He wailed, in an uncanny imitation of her soft voice. 

 

“Stop.” Shiro bit out, his hand clenching around his now-empty glass. 

 

Lotor seemed pleased with the fact that he had elicited a response from Shiro, and kept on going. “What, Shiro? Do you not like the fact that your wife slept next to me for so long? Or the fact that I was the name she used to moan? Or the fact that I was the man who managed to conquer her, who managed to break her?” He goaded, waiting to see more. 

 

“Stop.” Shiro warned again, his fingers squeezing so tightly that he almost couldn’t feel his extremities anymore. A roar crashed in his ears and his eyes were wide, his entire body rigid. 

 

“Or are you just upset about the fact that your poor, mentally unstable wife asked—no, begged— you for your time, begged you to keep her safe, and you failed?”

 

That was it for Shiro. With a feral yell the man lunged forwards, the glass shattering in his hands. Lotor’s eyes widened as Shiro’s hands tracked around his throat, threatening to cut off his supply. 

 

“You should have never touched her, you mongrel. She is a woman, her own human being, not your property or your plaything. You should be put down like a dog for daring to invade her privacy, for daring to try to control her. She still is brilliant and beautiful and she will no longer have to deal with you.”Shiro bit out, and as Lotor registered the words, Shiro turned his arms. 

 

The muscles rippled in his arms as all was heard was a sickening crack. Shiro watched the life drain out of the man’s eyes, leaving only inky blackness behind. 

 

Shiro heard a knock on the door and stood up. He made his way to the door, pulling it open. 

 

Allura stood there. Her hair curled down to her shoulders, not retaining any of its usual radiance before. Dark circles dominated under her eyes. A bandage wrapped around her head attested to her head injury. 

 

The figure of his smiling wife looked at him adoringly before extending a hand. 

 

“Home, darling?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be a third installment. 
> 
> are you ready? ;) 
> 
> leave a comment, tell me what you thought. 
> 
> drop a kudos if you enjoyed.
> 
> stay tuned. 
> 
> yell at me on tumblr: @chai-and-coffee


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